"Not to be dramatic, but does selling your work kind of make you wanna shrivel up and die a cringe-induced death? Same, girl. Same."

In this episode, I talk about that gut-tightening feeling when you post about something you offer, or when you wonder if you’re being "too much" just for naming your price again. If you’re femme, neurodivergent, rejection-sensitive or identify with the healer archetype, this one's for you.

We unpack the feminine wound of self-sacrifice, the masculine/feminine marketing divide, and how to sell your sacred work without shapeshifting into something you’re not.

You’re not cringe. You’re just conditioned.

꩜ We go into:

• Undercharging & overgiving as a systemic issue

• Non-coercive marketing as a liberating framework

• Building a business with softness, honesty, and magnetism

• Why being paid for your obsession is not a crime

• How to share your offer like it’s a voice note to a friend

꩜ Episode Transcript

Not to be dramatic, but does selling and putting yourself out there and making a song and dance about your offerings kind of make you wanna shrivel up and die a cringe-induced death? Same, girl. Same. Let’s talk about that.

I know that gut-tightening feeling when you post about something you offer—or when you're deciding, “Should I post about this same thing again this week?” And that hesitation around naming your price, that little ghost of your Pick Me Girl era screaming: “Don’t be too much!” But guess what? You are not cringe, you're just conditioned.

There’s a massive collective wound around receiving, asking, taking up space—especially for femme, neurodivergent, rejection-sensitive, and intuitive business owners who maybe identify with the healer archetype. So let’s unpack that a little. Particularly the feminine wound of self-sacrifice. Oof. Sorry. Sorry to hold up that mirror. It hurts me too.

Undercharging, over-giving, avoiding sales convos like the plague—this has a real trickle-down effect in your business. You never feel like you have enough money to actually invest in the things you really need. Everything becomes supercharged and scary. We're conditioned to nurture, help, be humble. And in business, that shit does not pay the rent.

It’s time to slay that fear-of-selling demon. Make it your new moon mantra, because I’m gonna help you understand why it needs to be slayed—and how we can do it sans cringe. You do deserve to take up space. You do deserve to be paid for this obsession, this purpose-driven business that’s lived rent-free in your heart and brain for years.

So—my logo is a yin yang. I tend to see things through that duality: masculine vs feminine, light vs shadow. And I think a lot about the masculine vs feminine marketing trap.

If we’re talking masculine, capitalist marketing—it’s urgency, scarcity, domination, and logic-first. Things I don’t relate to. You've probably noticed all the “shoulds” out there—especially from funnel bros and sales coaches—telling you how to show up. No wonder so many of us run away and do… nothing.

To me, feminine marketing is magnetism, intuition, storytelling, and emotional truth. You can sell with softness—but not the kind of softness where we’re apologizing for existing. Bold doesn’t have to be barky. Feminine doesn’t mean vague. Confidence doesn’t cancel humility. Being in your authenticity and having the confidence to show up unapologetically about something you poured your heart into? That is magnetic.

One of the biggest game-changers for me was reading an essay called Non-Coercive Marketing—just Google it, it’ll be the first thing that pops up. It confirmed that the way I’ve always sold—being tongue-in-cheek, over-the-top Aussie, maximalist, anti-template—is valid. It’s more than valid. It works.

It helped me spot where I was being a little coercive—thanks, funnel culture of COVID—and rethink things like email frequency, tone, and pressure. The article helped me confidently lean into the weirdo brilliance of how I already do things.

And not to brag, but in my humble ten-year business journey? The people who find me are the coolest, most neurodivergent, hyper-creative little freaks. I love them so much. And I know they were magnetized to me because I showed up weird, specific, and deeply obsessed with what I do. Most of my ideas have been brewing for years. My offers are a true labour of love.

When you talk about your offer, share that. Yes, people need to know the features and benefits, the bullet points and value—but also the intangibles. The feelings. The purpose. People feel that.

Odds are, if you’re listening, you’re not a normie. And that’s a compliment. You're probably not everyone’s cup of tea—and even homogenous brands aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. So stop trying to sell to everyone. Sell to the person you were thinking of when you first dreamt up the idea.

Okay—back to it. Let’s talk about how to talk yourself up without gagging. Frame what you’re selling as an invitation, not a pitch. Everything’s optional—but here’s the what, the why, and the how.

And write it like a voice note to your bestie. How would you describe it if you weren’t overthinking it? When I send VMs to my friends, I’m excited and a bit chaotic and super clear on why I care. But when it’s time to write a description, suddenly I’m stiff. You too?

Try to merge those worlds.

True confidence doesn’t come from ego—it comes from embodiment. And honestly? You’re probably not egotistical. The people who find PEARLER are self-aware and thoughtful. You don’t have to worry about sounding “too much.” But maybe do check who you’re following and listening to, because those voices shape our inner monologues about what marketing “should” be.

You don’t have to love capitalism to participate in it with integrity. It’s not going anywhere—but you can still make it weird. Especially when all the normies are out here yelling “I’m so quirky!” Just… be weirder.

Many of us had to hide. In school. In workplaces. We’ve masked our neurodivergence. We’ve downplayed our ambition. We’ve said “my little business.” But I want you to step into your power. Step into your authenticity.

Bring that beautiful energy into the noisy chaos. People want a reprieve from the noise. Be the clear, embodied, confident voice they’re searching for.

Delight them.